So I’ve got a new word. Not only does it sound great when it rolls of the tongue but it fits me oftentimes perfectly. Quixotic. (quicks ah tic) Let’s use it in a sentence: Alicia’s quixotic thoughts often lead to frustration and disappointment. Can you figure it out? Well, in order to give you a good understanding of why it applies to me, I shall define it. Quixotic: exceedingly idealistic; unrealistic and impractical. For example, carrying a sweet little baby for nine months, gaining only 26 pounds, and totally expecting it to come right off when I leave the hospital. FYI it’s been 10 years and I still have 10 pounds left to loose! Still not sure it suits me? Well, how about this: praying for nine months that I would be able to stay home with my sweet baby and still thinking it wouldn’t require too many changes in my life. Let’s all take a moment to laugh out loud. If you know my story, that prayer is what led me to Tallahassee. Yes, God did allow me stay home for 7 years, but only because it required a move away from all my lifelong friends and church. (By the way, this blog is not leading to an announcement that I’m pregnant!) In addition, I won’t even discuss the countless special occasions that I built up in my mind as something akin to spectacular, marvelous, supernaturual even, and been disappointed because of my quixoticness ( not really sure that’s a word but it works).
In my defense, I have to say that it’s not entirely my fault for two reasons: one is God the other is movies. God did create me and put this specific personality trait within me; therefore, I know that it is not all bad and that He plans (and often does) use it for good. For example, I tend to see the brighter side of things, look for the good in a really, really bad situation, etc. One of my life’s mottos is “Sometimes it’s so bad, you gotta laugh.” But I also have to deal with my ability to create grandiose plans and daydreams that never could come true. Oh, I have to admit sometimes my quixotic thoughts have come true and I’ve been thrilled, but my mind isn’t batting 500 or even 100. Reason number two that my person suffers from quixotia (again, not really a word but it works) is those ridiculous chick flicks I watched growing up. (I can also blame it on the fairy tales our little princess minds embraced when I was younger). I still love to watch them, but I do prepare my heart and mind beforehand with a little mantra: this is not real life, this is not real life. I oftentimes find myself telling my OCAG girls that if some boy were to really say all that sappy stuff to them, they’d probably start giggling. Realistically, only a little mushy stuff keeps us interested — get too mushy and we’ll move on.
I know your probably thinking, “What does Don Quixote have to do with any of this?” If you know his story, you know that the word actually originated from him. He was an idealistic dreamer. Even more, his idealism and unrealistic thoughts made for some pretty funny literature. This fact reminds me to keep my motto, “Sometimes it’s so bad, you just gotta laugh!”