chaos – noun, complete disorder and confusion
My life is a constant series of chaos and calm. Honestly, the past year of my life has been either chaos or complete calm either mentally, emotionally, or physically. In light of my family’s recent life-altering decision to go on the mission field to the jungles of Ecuador, this revelation of chaos doesn’t surprise many of you. However, I’ve tried to keep the chaos that runs through my mind about this “move” to myself and let God help me sort it out. Many of you ask me questions like “Why…?” “How are you going to do….?” or “What are you feeling about ….?” and most of the time I’ve replied “I don’t know.” Truly, I don’t know much of what you’ve asked me the details about but sometimes I do know and just won’t share it with you because of your possible responses. Not that they would be negative, but sometimes I just can’t lay the reality on my friends.
A series of chaos will end tomorrow night. In the past 10 days I have done the following: moved out of my home and in with my parents, had a ginormous yard sale (what do you take to the jungle – uh, NOTHING!), written and given three exams, graded numerous papers, packed up my classroom, traveled to B’ham to see a MC graduation, then on to Ashland, AL to visit with co-missionaries, attended three high school graduations and one graduation party, bought or made 7 graduation gifts. AND tomorrow I will attend my own farewell party! CHAOS!
I need some calm and will have it for a couple of days before…a sweet friend gets married, take the family and head off to Springfield, MO for Pre-field Orientation for Missionary Associates (for two weeks), only to return and start our stint as Recreation Directors at youth camp for three weeks! Holy Cow, how do I get myself into all of this?
Eventually calm will come – it always does. I survive and prepare for the next round of chaos. I can’t protest too much because when I get to Ecuador, I might be complaining about all the calm in my life!
My sweet friend…life truly is a journey of unspeakable highs, lows, and the unknown, isn't it? Like most, i love the highs, accept the lows, and walk with trepidation into the unknown. You, on the other hand always seem to be able to take each new situation head on, and handle it with more grace and faith than anyone I know. I can only imagine that this is one of the many reasons our Lord has chosen you to walk this path. He knows that He can trust you to accept, believe, and embrace this plan He has for you and your family. What an honor to be the type of woman that can be entrusted with such great responsibility.That being said, I can't even begin to imagine all that you're going through during this time. All I can do is tell you that i love you and am here for you, if you need an ear, a shoulder, or a word of encouragement. You are a strong woman of God. You are a gift to those who have the privilege of truly knowing you. You are my best friend, and i love you. Hugs and kisses to all…can't wait to see you soon!
From a friend who lives in utter chaos….you truly are thankful for the days of calm and will treasure them. I'm praying for you daily….and know that even in this chaos you are doing GREAT things!!