swirl

verb – move in a twisting or spiraling pattern

It’s Monday, which means I’m supposed to blog.  I’ve tried to adhere to habit of posting every Monday, Wednesday (book review), and Friday. My mind right now, however, is swirling with thoughts and none of them can I pin down.

This little blog of mine which is read by somewhere around 30 people on any give day can dominate my thoughts. That number is obviously lower than I would like, but every time I think of giving the blog up, someone sends an email or message letting me know how much something I wrote encouraged them. So I keep up with the battle of thoughts.  What’s that you ask?  Take a peak in my brain for any given day:

  • “I need to BLOG!”
  • “Ohhh, that’s a great idea for a blog post!.”
  • “I can’t wait to tell my readers about this book on the blog!”
  • “Ugh, it’s Monday, and I need to blog.”
  • “Shoot, it’s Saturday and I forgot to blog yesterday.”
  • “I need a piece of paper: I gotta jot down this idea for my blog.”
  • “Does anyone even read my blog besides my Dad?” (Shout out to Dad whose comments always encourages:)
  • “Can’t I just blog something random that I write on the spur of the moment? I mean, all this planning, revising, and editing is making me crazy!”
  • “I NEED to blog!”

So as you can see, my brain spends a lot of time thinking about the blog even when I’m not writing one.

I’ve been in a weird kind of season in my life right now that keeps my thoughts swirling. Keith and I have been discussing “life dreams” and “life goals” and all of that heavy stuff that I think people in their 40’s start to discuss when they see that the years are coming at the speed of light. I’ve been reading books on finding your dream, how to live that dream, and how to make Southern Biscuits. Okay, so the last one doesn’t seem to fit, but in my swirling thoughts, it fits right in with what God is dropping in my heart. (Have fun finding that connection.)  

In the midst of all these discussions with Keith, I’m learning to let go of my need to be perfect-at-whatever-it-is-I’m-doing. This obviously explains the need that every post be Pulitzer Prize worthy. So…. that’s what today is. It’s letting my faithful readers out there into a blog that was written “on the fly” and not perfectly outlined and edited. Basically, I sat, I thought, and then I wrote.

I’m in the process of reading a book that I wish I had written, or better yet, a book that I know I could write. It’s just my style, and it’s so powerful in a simple way.  I won’t tell you what it is yet because that’s a post for Wednesday Reads, and as I said earlier, it’s only Monday:) Reading this book has reminded me that it’s the simple writing of personal thoughts and experiences that touch a reader’s heart and binds them to you in a way that can’t be explained. I want to write like that.

In order to write like that,  I have to take my swirling thoughts and force them down on paper. I have to let go of my “try-hard life.” When I do, I find a freedom that makes me want to pursue dreams that are way to big for me, but not too big for my God.

So although today’s post was not outlined and throughly revised and edited, you read it. (I hope you stayed till now.) So here’s my thanks for joining me each day. I really do think of you guys a lot ( as evidenced by the earlier brain insight.) Keep the comments and messages coming and I’ll keep blogging even when the thoughts might not find their place in an outline.

Happy Monday,

~a

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