I’m a church kid, always have been. In fact, my church attendance started in the womb and I can honesty say it never stopped. However, that doesn’t mean my relationship with Jesus didn’t experience a break-up.
My time away from my faith was short-lived but came at a time in life where I was trying to figure out who I was apart from my parents — the dreaded middle school years. I wasn’t pursing a relationship with Christ during those years, and spent lots of time questioning if the Christian life was really worth it, or even real. Those questions and doubts pretty much subsided after a car accident that should have taken my life.
Since those days, I have chosen to follow Christ. Sure, my parents still made me go to church but it was from then on when I made my faith my own. There were lots of questions, doubts, and spiritual dry spells, but I’ve stayed the course for quite a while now.
The other day I came across a quote from Lecrae, a well-known Christian rap artist. He said, “If I’m wrong about God, then I wasted my life. But if you are wrong about God, then you wasted your eternity.” While this sounds inspirational, I don’t agree with all of it.
Even if everything I’ve ever believed about God turned out to be untrue, I’ve lost nothing. This week I’ve been looking back over my life and contemplating exactly where I’ve been, what I’ve done, and who I’ve known. And none of those have been a waste. I’ve lived my life learning to serve, encourage, and teach others. My Christian journey has taken me to the far reaches of the earth and back again. I’m a better person because of the Christian friends and mentors I’ve share my life with. My marriage is stronger because of my faith. My children have witnessed their parents live a life that focuses more on selflessness than selfishness – and I will always believe they are better off for it no matter what choices they make in their lives.
I don’t regret one moment — of the one million moments — where I’ve denied myself and chosen to live for Christ. I’ve done it willingly and in faith that the Gospel Story is true — that a Savior died in my place and there is an eternity filled with joy and peace. I’ve wasted nothing and my life has been richer, fuller, and filled with more purpose than it could ever be living for myself and my desires.
So on this Good Friday, when Jesus chose to give himself up for me, I will once again choose to give all that I have, every breath, every step, every day back to Him. He is worth it all.