At 40 you tend to re-evaluate your life. It seems you finally understand who you really are, what gifts you offer the world, and the things you really enjoy. Unfortunately, we’ve made most of our big life decisions before we reach this age. Often we find ourselves in jobs, relationships, and lives that don’t really fit.
The paradox is this: we cannot know whom we really are without experiencing all those things that make up our past. We have become who we are based on those experiences and relationships.
At dinner the other night, I mentioned all the careers I wish I had pursued. I was resigned to the fact that my chance was over, and I had to stick with what I’d chosen. The handsome man across the table looked at me and said: “Why don’t you go after it?! You’re young! There’s lots of life left to live.”
I chuckled at my husband’s words. I knew they were true, but they didn’t feel true. Recently, I’ve struggled with the thought that my life is what it is; where I am is where I’ll be until I die. I look down the path stretching out to reach one of those “goals” I mentioned earlier, and I wondered if walking that path is even worth it.
When you are young, the world seems like a wide-open space of opportunities, but somewhere along the way life turns from opportunities to responsibility. Then comes a moment when we must evaluate if pursing dreams is worth the cost or if we will simply let responsibilities dictate our future. For me, now is that time. I’m happy to say that I’ve taken steps to follow a dream — one that blends my passions with my talents. I have no idea whether it will succeed or not, but at least I know that I tried. I don’t want to simply survive life; I want to make an intentional choice to go after the dreams God gave me.
Even though this time around I won’t be a librarian, or a stage actress, or an editor at a big-time publishing house, I will be getting up every morning knowing that I didn’t waste my chance.
Wanna know what’s next for me? Stick around and you’ll find out soon.
Unpacking Life 